Honey Bunny gave me a challenge last night. He said if I lost 30 pounds by his marathon I could have a shopping spree and he would fund it. Now this may seem shallow for some but for me...I love clothes and I LOVE shopping. I have not been shopping in some time and I have certainly not enjoyed shopping in years. Once you get past size 12, shopping is a giant pain in the ass. It's not really a question of "does this make me look fat", it's more a question of "does this not make me look like such a huge fat ass?" Harsh, yes, but true. So this marathon is in three months. That's 10 pounds a month for three months in a row. This means that during my marathon training and during my actual marathon I have to lose a tremendous amount of weight. Now honey bunny runs marathons and he knows how hard it is to control your eating when you are in the end stages of preparing for a race. You really can't control your eating and you can't control your appetite. You are literally hungry all the time. So why you say, must honey bunny be so cruel? I honestly don't think he thought about it. Probably because he knew I would think it to death. And I have. TO the DEATH!!! Coming up with a million excuses as to why this is going to be impossible. I also know that when I get to my goal weight, no matter if it is 2022, Honey Bunny is going to give me his wallet. So today I thought I would just write down what I was eating and try to calculate it. Knowing I need to stay somewhere between 1500 and 1800 calories I figured I would be somewhere in there. Especially since knowing I was going to write it down hopefully I would control myself. So this is what I have eaten today.
One half of an organic raw bar, a vivano orange, mango, banana smoothie from Starbucks, a handful of inchi seeds, one quarter of a wedge of cantaloupe, egg salad on a small roll, a large serving of fruit salad, some tostitos with homemade guacamole, one slice of bread with nutella, and a small bag of veggie chips. That is 1720 calories. So technically I have 80 calories left for dinner and I have to run 14 miles tomorrow. So that is a given that I will eat more than 1800 calories, possibly more than 2000. I need to balance out the right amount of fuel and health and calories in order to have an efficient run tomorrow.
In the past I probably would have just ordered a big fat pizza and some wings and not given it another thought. Oh, I will just try again tomorrow. But tomorrow is Saturday and then there is the rest of the weekend and I have to run. So that puts it starting on Monday. Why not today? If I eat a healthy, dinner worth about 350 to 400 calories, that means that I eat somewhere around 2100 calories. Minus the three mile run from this morning, that puts me at roughly 1800 calories. So perhaps the damage isn't too bad. Perhaps, I can salvage this day and not put my work in the toilet. Perhaps, my self destructive thoughts occur when I think I have done something and I am right on the bubble. Who really knows. I feel like I am close to figuring it all out.
