I hate New Year's Resolutions

Hi there,

Since I am starting this on January 1st,  I am certain that most people will believe that this is some pie in the sky resolution - something crazy and impossible and probably what I blurted out in a moment of weakness.  Not true!  I actually blurted this out on a 12 mile run about three months ago.  I have spent the last few months gearing up for the process. 

So this is what I blurted out - I want to qualify for Boston in four years.  Why four?  Two reasons.  1)  In four years I will be 45 years old, thus giving me about 10 extra minutes.  I love the symmetry, four years, 45 years old, four hour qualifying time.

2) It will take me four years to train for this and do the work necessary to get there.

I realize that this sounds very ordinary and not very interesting to some people but let me explain why this is a very out of the ordinary dream.  I am what most runners would call an Athena Athlete.  Basically that means I am a fat runner.  I have big boobs and wide hips and a large arse.  I am short in stature and my legs are even shorter than that.  I am not athletically gifted in any particular area.  My V02 max is probably right now the best it will ever be.  I am not particularly young and I abused my body in my younger days with booze, smokes (all kinds) and no physical exercise of any type.  I have had a weight problem for about 15 years now which has interfered with my health, my fertility and my one pregnancy.  I have stress issues, anxiety problems and from time to time battle with depression.  At one time I sought some pharmacological help for these issues but they just really sucked the life out of me so I looked for something better.  Running was it.  I started training for my first race on January 29th, 2005. I ran my first mile in 14:48.  I ran the Monument Avenue 10K.  I finished in one hour and twenty nine minutes.  I actually ran most of it.  I ran it again the next year and a few other 10k's in between shaving off about 10 minutes.  In 2007 I believed that I could run the marathon.  Which I did.  I was last.  It took me almost 7 hours to complete 26.2 miles.  It was the happiest moment of my life.  I know deep down that I will never have a moment as blissful as that one.  And I have had many, many fine moments in my life.  

So you see what I have working against me but let's look at what I have going for me.  I have the most supportive husband in the world.  Todd believes in me and never has once blinked an eye or laughed uproariously or said no to me in the 16 years that we have been together.  He was the one that met me at mile 23 two years ago and told me I could finish when I really, really, REALLY wanted to quit.  He truly loves me unconditionally (and that is one helluva job) and he gives me the training time guilt free.  I also have a wonderful son who never gives me grief for running.  Instead he asks how far I go every time I run.  I have a great story about my son.  I ran the Marine Corps Historic Half Marathon Kids Run last year with him so my husband could run the race.  Dean (my son) had never run a two mile run but he has run a one mile race in under 12 minutes.  Like his father and me, Dean is not particularly fast, but he loves a medal like his folks so we encourage him to race.  Well on that day he busted out two 10 minutes miles which I have never done.  So I was huffing behind him and he got up to the finish line and stopped and came back for his Mom so we could finish together.  He was 7 years old at the time.  This is what I live with every single day. My two training partners, Tiffany and Sue, are my sisters.  Not biologically but in every other way.  They have seen the worst and the best of me and I really mean the worst. I would do anything for them.  I truly mean anything.  I also have wonderful friends.  Some of them run and some of them don't.  Some of them think I am crazy but many of them also give me more love than I deserve.  

Most importantly though I have myself to look to for inspiration.  It took me seven years to decide to change my life and run a marathon.  I have four years to lose 50 pounds and shave three hours off of my time.  I have this quote on a paperweight on my night table.  It begs the question "What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?" (Robert Shuller).  Seven years ago I said run a marathon.  I need a new answer.  This seems as possible to me as that answer did seven years ago.

So here I am on January 1st.  Yes, I do hate New Year's Resolutions but I do really love the spirit with which they are made.  Because, what if?  If not now, then when? Join me on my journey.  By the way, I haven't really enlisted any particular plan to start.  That will be part of the process.  I will let you know what works and what doesn't.  The one thing I can promise you is honesty.  When it comes to running, I am brutally truthful and I have no qualms about dishing the real stuff.  Enjoy, Share, Learn, Give, Take.  It's 2009.  2013 is just around the corner.  

Happy Running,

Sarah