Day Three of Detox. YUCK. UGGGHHHHH. I feel like I am possibly coming down with the flu. If you are squeamish about bodily things...Stop Reading Immediately and proceed down to the next paragraph break where I will talk about something way more pleasant. So my body seems to be rejecting this food. When I read that day three or so would be gentle cleansing day - I thought that meant that I would be hopping to the potty every hour or so. What I did not bargain for was the amount of bodily fluids would be coming out of me everywhere else!! Gross I know but I have had to blow my nose 25 times this morning and I have to pee like alot of pee every 20 minutes. I haven't even pooped yet today which is somewhat alarming and makes me feel like I cannot leave my house. I have been achy, irritable and really really tired. I ran yesterday and it was horrible, I felt like my legs were dead stumps and my upper body was just dying to fold over on the ground. I actually believed I was running backwards at one point because it was easier to run through the sand wall that seemed to be encompassing me that way than to face it dead on ahead. Excuse me for a moment - I have to go pee and blow my nose.
O.K. I am back. Thanks for waiting. Honey Bunny has a theory that even detoxing from sugar and bread and carbs can be difficult. He thinks that all this stuff is just trying to get out and my body has really gotten used to such nasty vile things and doesn't know how to function without them. I cannot even imagine if I had done the caffeine withdrawal as well. That is the one thing I didn't give up. I still have a cup of coffee upon waking up (because nothing else could get me out of my flu like coma that occurs at night lately) and I do not want to off my entire family with a machete because I am dieting and going through caffeine withdrawal. So I compromised but I am trying to follow the diet to the letter. The hardest thing is after my coffee I begin the diet with a liter of water. Not easy for me to get down an entire bottle of water before I can have any juice. Even then, you really just want a scone or a bagel, not a big glass of spinach and kale. So this morning I woke up and did not feel any better and I did not lose any weight yesterday so I was definitely on the verge of quitting. Because that is what I do in these circumstances. But I had to take little honey bunny to the dentist this morning so I decided to take my bottle of water with me and try to get it down. Then when I got home, I made a new juice recipe. This one is called The Great Eliminator - which if the title is true - I was just going to throw in the towel and bring my laptop into the bathroom with me. It is not a green juice which I just couldn't stomach the though of today as it has beets and carrots in it. So I juiced and poured the first glass and sat down with my meditation music channel on to write today and took a sip. HOLY CRAP this thing is delicious. It really tastes like a grape popsicle. Not kidding. It is sooooooo yummy. So I can't quit today, because I won't get to drink this ever again so that is motivation enough for me to continue - at least for a few more hours.
I have found that I am a hump person. I know, I know, please insert your common comments right here. You know if I could come up with a better name I would but for now, let's just let this one sit. I have this theory that for many obstacles in my life I just have to get over the hump and then things are good, sometimes great and sometimes even downright joyful. I have this thing called a brain that gets in the way of these positive experiences. My brain has a faulty wire that causes me to almost explode with anxiety when I am presented with some sort of obstacle. Even an obstacle to something wonderful. I seize up and get anxious and start to panic and think - oh my god, oh holy shit, oh fuck, fuck, fuck - I can't do this or what if something happens or I am going to be bad at this or crap, crap, crap. So I have to go through this process and find some way to get over the hump of this anxiety. I have to find some happy place in my mind that frees me up and allows me to relax and move on. When I find this place, when I am over the hump, miracles happen. The moment passes. Like it was never there. Like this morning. I woke up, not feeling great knowing before I could eat anything good I had to choke down a bottle of water. I knew I had to drink my juice before I could have something solid and delicious (today it is a sweet potato with organic butter and corn and lemongrass soup) so I really considered giving up. But I perservered and the moment has passed. I am drinking my lip smacking delicious grape popsicle and looking forward to a steam and a sauna visit to my gym today. Life is good. Even with the humps.
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